User talk:Guido/Wishlist/Part 1

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Guido's Wishlist : trial scenes for Oni 2

  1. Avatar and Konoko
  2. Oldman, Konoko and SmallGirl
  3. Mushroom Drunkyard
  4. Show me the way to NeoTokyo
He was driving. He's badly injured. The car's on fire.
She wants him to live and she wants him to understand that.
Why didn't she rescue him first?
geyser 13:17, 3 October 2006 (CEST)
The answer is in what happened before the scene and I didn't tell you:
Avatar asked Konoko to rescue his staff first.
"No, not me. Take [care of] them first. There is time for me."
This request might convey a seemingly altruistic nature.
However I imagined something actually different.
Avatar once faced death and the loss of Simone, during the cataclysm.
Now he finds himself again on the brink of death, trapped in his flaming car.
Just like before he is trapped and powerless.
Whether he's aware of it or not, the sight of those spreading fires makes him recall
that final moment with Simone, when her life was fading out in front of him.
All he needs to make a perfect replica of that moment is to be left alone for just a few seconds.
The car crash took him by surprise, but now rather than striving for his own safety,
he is somehow paradoxically attracted by the perspective of staying there on his own.
In a way it is the first chance he has ever got in his avatar-unlife
to come back to where all began: again so close and yet so distant to Simone.
Also, the principle of fire can be considered as opposite to snow:
though a destructive one, its effects can be considered symmetrical to Avatar's personality.
Snow "burns" when one touches it, like fire. But the former has a different effect:
it preserves rather than consuming to ash.
So we may toy with these two elements:
the frozen winter night marking the moment in which Blackwater's life becomes like suspended in a dream,
and the fire, representing the re- awakening of his past memories and the meaning of pain.
(ok, just an idea)
Guido 16:45, 24 November 2006 (CEST)
Freezing. Thawing off. Nice. I may try and work on that symmetry "on the snowy side"...
You do realize that your original dialogue and directions conveyed none of that, don't you?
And that it's nearly impossible to guess those things "right"?
This page has been around for 2 months, with me understanding little and you saying even less.
Wouldn't you call them wasted months, Guido? As far as this episode is concerned?
You and your #%$£!§* "over-understatement"...
geyser 17:47, 24 November 2006 (CET)
Sorry for pushing you, but "I thought you were it do die" : what the???
My exploding head is feeling better, but only a little, Guido, only a little...
geyser 17:47, 24 November 2006 (CET)

good dramatic visual opening. captivating.
conversation between mai and john needs work. personally i think it comes off as cliche because blackwater doesn't see it coming -- and this should be obvious to him, as it is to the reader, by mai dragging him from his burning car and bandaging him.
Why, I'd say he does see it coming... He acknowledges Konoko's mercy early on, and the dialogue is basically him being curious about her reasons.
geyser 05:44, 16 October 2006 (CEST)

the grieve reference intrigues me, but this scene has to be pivotal by nature of it's function (enlightening konoko).
What I'd like you to do is "bracket" this scene -- the nature of kon's grudge against blackwater, what she does next, their previous experiences together, all relevant related info.
That "bracketing" is what wiki nodes are all about. Anything that calls for further development (here, for instance, Konoko's encounter with Grieve) gets a new page, to which we link from here.
geyser 05:44, 16 October 2006 (CEST)

Other questions -- she saves his life, he's important to her, yet she walks away. Why? She has nothing left, doesn't she?
cf her monologue. Note that it ends on a question.
geyser 05:44, 16 October 2006 (CEST)

Lastly, blackwater becomes a big loose end if you leave him alive. You'll need to resolve that.
Yes, he does become a loose end. No, we don't have to resolve it. Think different. ^^
geyser 05:44, 16 October 2006 (CEST)

Every time I look at my reflection...
Ever went past two glass/mirror panes meeting at a right angle? You're basically passing another you.
Not a mirrored one; one rotated by 180° and headed in a direction opposite to yours. Looking at you... And then... nothing.
Looking at that "passer-by" is really different from looking in a mirror. Just a few thoughts... Multiple reflection are hell to render accurately.
But a Konoko who's "passing herself" on her way out of the compound (during the monologue) is quite appealing, IMO. It's about missed opportunities...
geyser 05:44, 16 October 2006 (CEST)