User:Guido/Project257/Part 1: Difference between revisions

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::[[User:Geyser|geyser]] 22:52, 31 January 2007 (CET)
::[[User:Geyser|geyser]] 22:52, 31 January 2007 (CET)
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Rather than a translation, we may call this one an English adaptation. On a first reading, I didn't like the pacing of the dialogues in the [[Project 257|original version]]. So I thought a few arrangements might improve the overall effect, and reinterpreted this novel as a movie script.  
Rather than a translation, we may call this one an English adaptation. On a first reading, I didn't like the pacing of the dialogues in the [[User:Tracker/Projekt_257|original version]]. So I thought a few arrangements might improve the overall effect, and reinterpreted this novel as a movie script.  
A number of passages wiil appear to be heavily rearranged, but I am convinced the results will stay faithful to the original meaning more than a literal translation could ever be.
A number of passages wiil appear to be heavily rearranged, but I am convinced the results will stay faithful to the original meaning more than a literal translation could ever be.
Of course improvements (and proofreading) are welcome. If you have some, then help yourselves! I enjoyed the experiment, I hope you will enjoy the results like me...
Of course improvements (and proofreading) are welcome. If you have some, then help yourselves! I enjoyed the experiment, I hope you will enjoy the results like me...
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The TSC filed Connors’s ongoing research as “Project 257�?.
The TSC filed Connors’s ongoing research as “Project 257�?.
What Dr. Connors doesn’t know is that TSC is determined to use his Cell-serum (or C-serum) for military purposes.
What Dr. Connors doesn’t know is that TSC is determined to use his Cell-serum (or C-serum) for military purposes.
TSC aims at developing some kind of enhanced soldier, whose body can quickly recover from injuries and easily replace damaged parts.
TSC aims at developing some kind of enhanced soldier, whose body can quickly recover from injuries and easily replace damaged parts.
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Carmen is a next-generation  artificial intelligence that manages all monitoring and electric systems in the compound.
Carmen is a next-generation  artificial intelligence that manages all monitoring and electric systems in the compound.
Carmen performs functions of vocal speech and can generate holographic projections of herself.
Carmen performs functions of vocal speech and can generate holographic projections of herself.
Bill often hacks into Carmen’s override codes in order to optimize “her�? logic and shape “her�? behavior as human as possible.
Bill often hacks into Carmen’s override codes in order to optimize “her�? logic and shape “her�? behavior as human as possible.




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:I can’t understand.  I feel no pain at all.  What did you do to me?" (''rises and goes a few steps forth and back'').  
:I can’t understand.  I feel no pain at all.  What did you do to me?" (''rises and goes a few steps forth and back'').  


''The young woman has set a good mood.
''She’s just awaken from the coma and she feels so good. Her amnesia seems quite a minor problem...
''She’s just awaken from the coma and she feels so good. Her amnesia seems quite a minor problem...


("It doesn't take so long before the young woman and the professor have set together a good mood.") (is it woking?[[User:Guido|guido]])
("It doesn't take so long before the young woman and the professor have set together a good mood.")
(is it woking now?[[User:Guido|guido]])


;Connors
;Connors
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;Connors
;Connors
:This laboratory is somehow “special�?. We have security personnel everywhere. Orders from above... Don’t you pay attention to him.
:This laboratory is somehow “special�?. We have security personnel everywhere. Orders from above... Don’t you pay attention to him.




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''The glass cylinder of a scanner comes down around Eve from the ceiling, enclosing her. Light rays slowly roam over Eve’s body, accompanied by a humming noise. Dr. Connors stands in awe in front of the readings on the display.
''The glass cylinder of a scanner comes down around Eve from the ceiling, enclosing her. Light rays slowly roam over Eve’s body, accompanied by a humming noise. Dr. Connors stands in awe in front of the readings on the display.
[[Category:Oni 2]]

Latest revision as of 17:21, 16 April 2013

I don't know in how far the structure and location are "final".
Here's a quick grammar/vocabulary check. Follow-up expected...
geyser 22:52, 31 January 2007 (CET)

Rather than a translation, we may call this one an English adaptation. On a first reading, I didn't like the pacing of the dialogues in the original version. So I thought a few arrangements might improve the overall effect, and reinterpreted this novel as a movie script. A number of passages wiil appear to be heavily rearranged, but I am convinced the results will stay faithful to the original meaning more than a literal translation could ever be. Of course improvements (and proofreading) are welcome. If you have some, then help yourselves! I enjoyed the experiment, I hope you will enjoy the results like me... As for the author, I beg him pardon for how I micromanaged his text during the translation. I know it is not the best thing to start with, but it is something to start with nonetheless! (Guido)



CHAPTER 1 : The C-Serum

It is the year 2030. Techstar Inc. (TCS) is the world's leading industrial concern in computer technology, pharmaceutics and genetics. Techstar has secretly established an underground laboratory in Antartica. Accident victims whom medics give up on are taken there and undergo scientific researches for military purposes.



DRAMATIS PERSONAE

DR. CONNORS is a prominent figure in the field of genomics.

His daughter EMILY, 10 years old, suffers from an illness she inherited from her mother. The disease has caused her immune system to turn against her own body, causing extensive muscular paralysis. If untreated, the symptoms can spread and ultimately affect the respiratory apparatus, leading to certain death. Connors was unable to save his wife and he is tied up now to her daughter Emily. In the last year the progress of Emily's disease has confined her to a wheelchair. Thus Connors has been feverishly working on a serum that might restore her sick immune system by replacing her damaged cells. He already tested the serum on Emily’s mother, unfortunately with little or no success.


The TSC filed Connors’s ongoing research as “Project 257�?. What Dr. Connors doesn’t know is that TSC is determined to use his Cell-serum (or C-serum) for military purposes. TSC aims at developing some kind of enhanced soldier, whose body can quickly recover from injuries and easily replace damaged parts.


Deep underground, in his laboratory located at the 4th level of the base, DR. ANDERSON conducts his own activities. He is a specialist in cloning techniques too, but he pursues completely different goals. If only weren’t his research for military clients of highest interest, the TSC board of directors would have not given him so much license as he actually enjoys. As it is said, Dr. Anderson is a deranged man and a self-possessed individual. He has even carried out several experiments in order to artificially enhance and upgrade his own body. But he has also suffered from unwelcome side-effects: his body shows now signs of decay, his skin has degenerated and turned scaly. His psyche has been affected in the process, making him even wicker. Underneath its laboratory, on the 5th floor, the lowest of the installation, Dr Anderson assembled a training area for his own creatures, that he ironically called the zoo. He converted a network of caves linking different natural halls into a mix of artificial landscapes -icy, rocky, jungle, swamp and desert- each simulating different weather conditions. The zoo features a monitoring system which is independent from the rest of the base. Dr. Anderson uses it to delight himself at the deadly perfection of his creations. It is assumed that many a door or an elevator lead into the zoo. Woe to the unaware visitors who venture there!


BILL JOHNSON is the computer specialist of the base who looks after the central computer. He has notably a great attachment to Connors’ young daughter. The illness of that poor girl saddens him. He has been often visiting her. Afterwards he has found in her a good apprentice and he has already taught her computer tricks that would make a hacker turn pale with envy. CARMEN is what Bill calls the Core Processor Unit he is responsible for. Carmen is a next-generation artificial intelligence that manages all monitoring and electric systems in the compound. Carmen performs functions of vocal speech and can generate holographic projections of herself. Bill often hacks into Carmen’s override codes in order to optimize “her�? logic and shape “her�? behavior as human as possible.


The compound has its own security service. From a control room guards use surveillance cameras to monitor the whole installation. Doors or elevators need to be unlocked by simultaneous input from several consoles. By original design, it was up to Carmen to perform such tasks, however COMMANDER GREY had that subroutine deactivated.


COMMANDER GREY is Commander in Chief of the base and Head of the security unit. Because of his military merit and perseverance he was commended to the Antartic base by Techstar. While in the army, he saw many brave soldiers arbitrarily replaced by enhanced clones, or killed in open combat against these genetically manipulated freaks. Commander Grey does thus have several reasons to distrust technology. He’d rather count on the loyalty of his men. He holds a deep hatred for clones, however he always tries to be both fair and inflexible in his decisions.



SCENE ONE

Dr. Connors is at his laboratory in the 2nd floor. For the first time in a long while, he has made a step forward with his C-serum. Eve, his latest patient, is making astonishing progress.


EVE'S FILE
Time of delivery Saturday, 20 April 2030 20:15
Subject ID Eve
Sex Female
Height 1.70 metres
Estimated age 22 years
Anamnesis and Diagnosis Accident at parachuting, multiple fractures, diffuse internal hemorrhages, head trauma, loss of consciousness.
Special attributes unusual toughness, resilient immune system
Medic’s notes Chances for survival are minimal.
Therapy Administration of C-serum, through synthesis in culture medium and electro stimulation treatment.
Trial results Immune system responds positively to C-serum with sudden changes - improved regeneration functions and cellular gain: after few days all injuries have been healed, unusual strength, reprise of awareness functions.
Side-effects Mutation of the cellular tissues, Impossible to assess.
Prognosis Improved chances of complete healing through improved C-serum
Requested measures Further analysis and documentation of the ongoing cell mutation


Connors finally releases Eve from the pharmacological coma she has been induced to. Eve wakes up for the first time on Wednesday, May 15th at 7:10 a.m.

Eve

babbles

Where ... where am I?
Connors
everything is going fine, now you are at my laboratory.
Eve

looks at him

Who are you? What happened to me?
Connors
I am Dr. Connors. Do you remember something about the crash?
Eve

shaking her head

I was... falling, then I hit the ground, then... nothing."
Connors
What’s your name?
Eve

thoughtful

I... I cannot tell.
Connors
Do you remember something of your home?
Eve
... Nothing at all.
Connors

calmly

As it seems, you stay amnesiac. Yet, your memory will come again... can you stand up?

Connors nods and cheers up as Eve successfully tries to stand up with her own legs

Eve

amazed

I can’t understand. I feel no pain at all. What did you do to me?" (rises and goes a few steps forth and back).

She’s just awaken from the coma and she feels so good. Her amnesia seems quite a minor problem...

("It doesn't take so long before the young woman and the professor have set together a good mood.") (is it woking now?guido)

Connors

astonished

It’s truly a miracle, if I recall how quickly you have recovered from the accident.
Eve
Frankly I feel as nothing would have happened… I feel as fit as fiddle.
Connors
I would like to test your reflexes and have some additional screening. Would you follow me?
Eve

as she realizes there’s someone else apart the doctor

Sure Professor, but why is that watchman there?
Connors
This laboratory is somehow “special�?. We have security personnel everywhere. Orders from above... Don’t you pay attention to him.


Dr. Connors has resolved to carry on a few tests. Eve is first introduced in a computer-aided training path, where her body is subjected to different degrees of stress and work-load. After that he measures her reflexes and sensitivity. Eve reveals an outstanding physical shape. She’s built like a highly competitive athlete. Her stealth is outside all common standards and her senses extremely sharp. Despite the objections of the watchmen, Connors insists in bringing Eve to the shooting-range for some target practice. Eve seems to master everything with impressive skills. Dr. Connors enthusiastically reports all the details: it looks like he has finally obtained a decisive breakthrough in his research.




Since Emily’s condition has become critical, Dr. Connors can’t wait any longer and administers the newly synthesized C-serum to Emily. Although her body hardly ever responded to the previous C-serum, two days after the new treatment she is displaying striking effects. It is as if her body cells have been suddenly revived: weakened tissues are being replaced at a tremendous pace by new, more resilient ones.


a few days later ... (Guido)



SCENE TWO

Last morning Emily was finally able to stand up again and get rid of her wheelchair. Connors is exultant. He has not only managed to save his daughter - all that he has been striving for all those years - but probably his daughter will have an entirely normal life like all the other people. The dream that almost abandoned him is becoming reality.

Bill Johnson has just entered the laboratory. Eves studies with interest the newcomer who conveys so much self-confidence, and a reassuring charm: he’s a man with pleasant looks, probably in his thirties, slim, and a few inches taller than her. It doesn’t take too long before their gazes lock together.

Connors
May I introduce you to Bill Johnson? It was his brilliant idea to find you a name when they brought you here. He is our computer expert and a friend to our family.
Eve

smiles at him

Nice to meet you, Mr. Johnson.
Bill

friendly

Please, Bill is well enough.
Eve

hasting a reply

Splendid, and you, well... you can call me Eve... it doesn’t sound bad at all. You know, I have some problems at recollecting things. My old life seems to have ended.
Bill

gently

You are in good hands with Dr. Connors. He is the best doc I know.

turning to Connors

Professor, I brought Emily along with me. She is waiting in the next room. She looks terrific. When you see her you won’t believe your eyes!
Eve

stunned

How … I can feel her. It’s like a strangely trusted aura. And I wish to get acquainted with her.


Dr. Connors cannot conceal his surprise. As his guests continue their conversation many questions start crowding his head.

Connors (V.O.)
Has Eve really developed telepathic abilities? In that case, did her body start on some kind of mutation? Oh my god, I must have modified the C serum by using Eve’s cells. If so, administering it to Emily was probably a mistake!


Once again he feels the urge to examinate Eve some further.




They step into the next room. Emily is standing there waiting for them. She has been sensing Eve’s presence outside the door. They recognize each other at a first glance, like sister souls.

Emily
Hi, I am Emily, what is your name?
Eve
It is quite a complicated story... just call me Eve.
Emily

excited

Did you feel that too? I mean, did you feel me while you were in the laboratory?
Eve
I see what you mean. I have never experienced anything like that before.
Emily

grinning

Me neither.

Connors finds that situation completely weird. Despite his joy, he is worried of the sudden changes in his daughter. Everything is evolving too fast, too easily. A telepathic link was something far beyond his imagination. In his troubled mind there are serious chances that the experiment gets out of control. He is not even sure Emily's cell structure will remain stable. The fear of having created a superman or a monster gets heavier and heavier.

Connors glances suspiciously at the watchman standing in the entrance. He tries to interpret from his face what he might have grasped of the ongoing discussion.

Connors (V.O.)
What would happen if the board or the security learned of this? Would they classify Emily as a potential threat and take her away from me?
Connors

suddenly rushing at Bill

Bill, you should be at work by now. And I have further analyses to carry out on Eve and my small princess.
Emily

naughty" (or annoyed?Guido)

I am not a little girl any more.
Connors
I see. But I am doing this only for your sake.
Bill

disengaging

See you later Professor. And how about bringing these two cute girls of yours over for dinner?
Connors

laughing

Hey shouldn’t you be a bit more careful? If Carmen is listening, you will make her jealous.

Eve seems now uneasy

Emily

smiling

Cheerio!




Eve

once Bill is outside

Who is Carmen?
Emily

playful

The good spirit of the house. Sees all, hears all. In other words, she knows everything.
Connors

getting practical

Carmen is the core processor of our computer, an artificial intelligence. All electric units of this complex are controlled by it. Bill named it Carmen.
Eve
Uhm, so he gave a name to a machine?
Emily

loudly

C’mon Carmen, show yourself! You have to meet Eve!
Cortana, basically ^^

The surveillance camera in the room projects a green hologram of a young woman. Her body seems to be covered of leader circuital paths.

Emily
Eve, this is Carmen.

turning to the hologram' Carmen, this is Eve. Please be nice to her!

Carmen
Eve is registered in my database as a trial subject. Friendliness is an extra feature I am not authorized for.
i.e. Cortana sucks ^^
Emily

upset

That’s so rude of you! You’re not always so blunt! And look at yourself! Don’t you have anything else to wear than this stupid circuit design?
Carmen

stolid

I have access to 65536 textures. This one approximates my printed circuit boards pretty well.
Emily

shaking her head, (in surrender."guido)

I should ask Bill to generate some new cool design for you.
Carmen
Actually he did. Do you want to see it?
Connors

trying to stop them

Ahem... another time perhaps, we still have much work to do. Carmen, would you leave us now, please?
Carmen

as her hologram fades out

Your orders, Sir.

Eve pulls her brows together, in confusion

Emily

upset

Oh, what a shame!
Connors

turning back to Eve

Eve, I have another couple of tests I would like to perform on you. The regeneration of your body has gone far beyond my expectations and I have to understand what’s going on there. Please, step onto this platform, Eve. It won’t take very long.
Eve
Alright.


The glass cylinder of a scanner comes down around Eve from the ceiling, enclosing her. Light rays slowly roam over Eve’s body, accompanied by a humming noise. Dr. Connors stands in awe in front of the readings on the display.