User:Guido/Wishlist/Part 2: Difference between revisions

User:Guido/Wishlist/Part 2 (view source)

20 bytes removed , 26 September 2006

212

edits

@@ Line 20: / Line 20: @@
 '''KONOKO''' “I know what the men like you can do--
-(''coughs''!) as a kick smashes into her belly.)
+(''coughs''! ''as a kick smashes into her belly''.)
 (''spits out'')
@@ Line 29: / Line 29: @@
 --I found her! -- she was still alive! She needed to breathe and I gave her the air, and she needs your water now! (''growing upset'') She deserves my help, not yours!�?
-The place appears something like a former rail depot area in the middle of nowhere. There are several containers left, and probably a number of barracks or few improvised buildings.  The anonymous plain fades out into a dusty mist a mile away from the brawl. (''Did Konoko get there by feet''?)
+  ''The place appears something like a former rail depot area in the middle of nowhere.
+  There are several containers left, and probably a number of barracks or few improvised buildings.
+  The anonymous plain fades out into a dusty mist a mile away from the brawl.''
 '''OLDMAN''' (''he is perched on a small container –the small girl sits on his side. She is clearly afraid, as she knows no one but Konoko. Oldman observes the mess below in silence, then he rouses suddenly''--) Gentlemen! I said not one by one! Hit her all at once. She is starving: I know the lady, she cannot dodge forever everything you throw her way.