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User:Guido/Project257/Part 1: Difference between revisions
minor typos, and first revision
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Rather than a translation, we may call this one an English adaptation. On a first reading I didn't like the pacing of the dialogues in the original version and the frequent Dr. Connors' streams of consciousness. So I thought of a few arrangements might have improved the overall effect. I reinterpreted this novel as a movie script. | Rather than a translation, we may call this one an English adaptation. On a first reading I didn't like the pacing of the dialogues in the original version and the frequent Dr. Connors' streams of consciousness. So I thought of a few arrangements might have improved the overall effect. I reinterpreted this novel as a movie script. | ||
A number of passages | A number of passages wiil appear to be heavily rearranged, however I am convinced the results stay faithful to the original more than a literal translation could ever be. | ||
Of course improvements and proofreading are welcome. If you have some, then help yourselves! | Of course improvements and proofreading are welcome. If you have some, then help yourselves! | ||
I enjoyed the experiment, I hope you will enjoy the results like me | I enjoyed the experiment, I hope you will enjoy the results like me... As for the author, I beg him pardon for how I micromanaged the text. I know it is not the best thing to start with, but it is something to start with nonotheless! ([[User:Guido|Guido]]) | ||
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==SCENE ONE== | ==SCENE ONE== | ||
''Dr. Connors is nailed at his laboratory in the 2nd floor. For the first time in a long time he has done a step forward with his C-serum. Eves, his last patient, | ''Dr. Connors is nailed at his laboratory in the 2nd floor. For the first time in a long time he has done a step forward with his C-serum. Eves, his last patient, is making astonishing progresses.'' | ||
:''EVE'S FILE'' | :''EVE'S FILE'' | ||
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'''Connors''' (''getting practical''): | '''Connors''' (''getting practical''): | ||
:Carmen is the core processor of our computer, an artificial intelligence. All electric units of this complex are | :Carmen is the core processor of our computer, an artificial intelligence. All electric units of this complex are controlled by it. Bill named it Carmen. | ||
'''Eves''': | '''Eves''': | ||
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'''Connors''' (''turns back to Eve''): | '''Connors''' (''turns back to Eve''): | ||
:Eve, I have another couple of tests I would like to carry on with you two. The regeneration of your body has gone far beyond all my expectations and I have to understand what’s going on there. Please, stay on this platform. It won’t take so long. | :Eve, I have another couple of tests I would like to carry on with you two. The regeneration of your body has gone far beyond all my expectations and I have to understand what’s going on there. Please, stay on this platform, Eve. It won’t take so long. | ||
'''Eves''': | '''Eves''': | ||
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(''From the ceiling the glass cylinder of an investigation tube is lowered down on Eve. Light rays slowly roam | (''From the ceiling the glass cylinder of an investigation tube is lowered down on Eve. Light rays slowly roam over Eve’s body, accompanied by a humming noise. Dr. Connors stands in awe in front of the indicators on the display''.) | ||