User talk:Geyser/Test: Difference between revisions

User talk:Geyser/Test (view source)

158 bytes added , 4 September 2006

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 ;[[User:Geyser|geyser]]
-:I can't imagine Christine saying that. It's not really clear whether it's the character or the writer who can't find their words. The parentheses are especially awkward.
+:I can't imagine Christine saying that in a regular speech bubble (the whole tirade is so long it would hardly fit in the panel, IMO). The two questions in parentheses are best set apart, in bubbles of their own (no speech tail, V.O.-style). That calls for a much lighter panelling, though, and a much smaller amount of speech.
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 ==Conspiracy==
 ;[[User:Geyser|geyser]]
 :There are two events occurring simultaneously, that contribute to Avatar's claimed disgust of his profession and former life : his wife's death, and "the board's coup against [him]".
 :One of those events is clearly secondary, so for the sake of conciseness I'd scrap it completely. Let the conversation focus on Avatar's main reason to stay, and on his disgust ("I'm respected by people I despise" etc).