OniGalore:General disclaimer: Difference between revisions

From OniGalore
m (added policies sidebox)
(how about a serious Disclaimer page instead of the silly unfinished one?)
 
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{{PoliciesSidebox}}
{{PoliciesSidebox}}
OniGalore and oni2.net are not affiliated with Bungie Studios, Gathering, Rockstar Games or Take2 Interactive.  
OniGalore and oni2.net are not affiliated with Bungie, Rockstar Games or Take-Two Interactive.  


Possible side effects of using OniGalore include, and may not be limited to :
We do our best to provide accurate and educational content for a wide audience, but your use of our services is at your sole risk. We make no warranty that our services will meet your requirements, be safe, secure, uninterrupted, timely, accurate, or error-free, or that your information will be secure.
{|style="float:right"
 
|align=center|'''<big>YOU!!!!!!! READ!!!!!!!</big>
We are not responsible for the content, data, or actions of third parties. No advice or information, whether oral or written, obtained by you from us or through or from our services creates any warranty not expressly stated.
|-
 
|[[Image:Severed - Avanti!.png|258px]]
Any material downloaded or otherwise obtained through your use of our services is done at your own discretion and risk, and you will be solely responsible for any damage to your computer system or loss of data that results from the download of any such material. You agree that we have no responsibility or liability for the deletion of, or the failure to store or to transmit, any content or communication maintained by the service. We retain the right to create limits on use and storage at our sole discretion at any time.
|}
 
:<small>premature balding, excessive weight loss, high blood pressure, pre-traumatic stress syndrome, extra pants, strengthened libido, fur loss, heightened appetite, diabetic comas, twitchiness, grand mal seizures, connection timeouts, blurred vision, narcolepsy, missing shoestrings, gummed up velcro, green beans, world hunger, talking on cell phones while driving, wearing sunglasses, road rage, lengthened siestas, throwing loose change at passers by, eating mayonnaise, low blood pressure, sleeping in late, bashing tree-huggers, eating tofu, talking to tech-support morons, wearing cotton-polyester blends, forgetting to shower, importing beer, watching Hong Kong action movies, reading historical fiction, switching chapstick flavors, falling asleep at sporting events, excessive brain activity, nose hair trimming, civil engineering projects, thumb sucking, short sheeting, driving slow in the passing lane, hankering for haggis, laughing at short-bus jokes, falling asleep at the switch, missing a credit card payment, tripping the light fantastic, eating dessicant packets, slurping your soup, teasing zoo-confined carnivores with the unconscious body of your drunken friend, forgetting your birthday, sleeping on park benches, uncontrolled lucidity, shopping at midnight, extracting retsin from breath mints, mining for booger-nuggets, standing in line for colostomy bags, driving to Las Vegas on 3 hours of sleep and 2 fifths of vodka, hair discoloration, heart palpatations, sweet tooth, potty mouth, enlarged pineal gland, retinal clouding, pre-natal balding, having your unconscious body used to tease zoo-confined carnivores, heart-shaped boils, memory loss, arterial expansion, cyberpsychosis, spam, liver infection, pus deficiency, lowered cholesterol, swelling of the feet, tinitus, pre-approval for a corporate credit card, post-traumatic bladder dysfunction, desalinization, sensitization of the face, numbing of the ears, the pilfering of your lucky charms by a very short person of celtic descent, naming your children after weather events, big hats, military industrial complex rationalization, consuming mass quantities of beer and no-pest strips, asking for patio seats on international flights, standing in line to see the wrong movie, salting your peanut butter, informing the National Security Agency of your desire for world peace through the utilization of dental floss and concrete pre-mix, dysentery, sailing the seas of cheese, forking instead of threading, mixing Ozric Tentacles and goth music videos, sticking your head into the wrong room at exactly the wrong moment, taunting happy fun ball, disorientation during coitus, drooling, dyspepsia, eating crackers in bed, promising rose gardens to potential soul-mates, crustal displacement, global warming, paid advertisements, embarrassing involuntary noises, building UFO landing zones in your neighbor's yard, saying pleasant things when the photo cop tags you, eating bowls full of tumors, asking for more stains on your menu, refusing to get your prostate checked because it's gross, knowing what a dump monkey is, eating prize-winning red onion fudge, trying to spit gum into a convertible from an overpass, forgetting to turn off the iron, estrogen deficiency, dry mouth, excessive drooling, wedgies, telling random strangers that you have Superman on your underpants, pleasantness, fighting the power in your spare time, watching C-SPAN and betting on which codger bites it first, beans and spam, watching Pink Floyd's "The Wall" while stone cold sober, making up the wrong words to the bleeps in songs on the radio, being satisfied with water in your cereal instead of milk, reading the sunday paper on thursday, warming up last night's fish sticks in the toaster, baking without pre-heating, mixing the red stuff with the blue stuff, wearing corduroy pantsuits, using words like irascible in everyday conversations incorrectly, rooting for the wrong team, using butter instead of the sensible substitute, wearing a leather jacket to the local "natural foods" store, giving the gift of love with a restraining order, wearing out the spot in your copy of Star Wars where the storm trooper bangs his head on the door, cold hands, organizing your life with sticky notes in hopes that once the glue wears off and the note falls away into oblivion the task will no longer be needed, drinking straight from the bottle bypassing the unnecessary middleman, spam spam spam spam eggs bacon and spam, asking for the triple whammy mother of all heart stoppers bacon and fat sandwich at the sandwich place, coordinating black ops in your free time, random vorpal bunny attacks, whirled peas, sidewalk climbing, dreams of being chased by lemmings, flatulence, cold coffee, jungle rot, hay fever, headaches, incontinence, world domination, higher interest rates, lowered property values, dead parrots, walking silly, being assaulted by a gang of grannies, naming your son Sue, fallen arches, higher numbers in the arbitron, reduced capacitance, a desire to travel, a greener looking lawn, fewer neighborhood pets, x-ray vision, runny nose, picking the winning lotto numbers in the wrong state lottery, showing up for work 30 minutes early and leaving 30 minutes late, color blindness, using a no. 3 instead of a no. 2 pencil, making plans for Nigel, getting blind drunk with Boris Yeltsin in a karaoke bar singing opera with chinese "ladies of the evening", two exits no waiting, lactose intolerance, hereditary blindness, expecting to buy "Saving Private Ryan" on DVD only to find out that Steven Spielberg is a DIVX supporter (the bastard), short pants, explosive diarrhea, halitosis, shortness of breath, irregularity, increased mucuous flow, LOST CARRIER..., gas that would embarrass a bulldog, the kind of ugly you just can't run from, worn out shoes, 20 foot paint jobs, a doctorate in sanskrit, shifting your paradigm, reading the small print, and chafing.</small>
You are solely responsible for your use of any third-party websites or resources. Although the wiki contains links to third-party websites and resources, we do not endorse and are not responsible or liable for their accuracy or content (including, without limitation, any viruses or other disabling features), nor do we have any obligation to monitor such third-party content.
The above masterpiece was outrageously stolen (by me, [[User:Geyser|geyser]]) from [https://www.swo.com/ Science of War and Oppression]. I'm looking forward to making [[OniGalore talk:General disclaimer|a more Oni-oriented variant]] (you're welcome if you want to help), but for now it's [https://www.swo.com/disclaimer.shtml SWO's original version], with a few original entries by myself. No, I don't have permission to redistribute their disclaimer. I'll try to keep it clean :)
 
Some states or jurisdictions do not allow the types of disclaimers in this section, so they may not apply to you either in part or in full depending on the law.


[[Category:Policies and documentation]]
[[Category:Policies and documentation]]

Latest revision as of 20:04, 2 February 2025

OniGalore Policies and Help
About us
Code of conduct Copyrights
Disclaimers Privacy policy
Help:Editing Dos and don'ts
Help:Group rights

OniGalore and oni2.net are not affiliated with Bungie, Rockstar Games or Take-Two Interactive.

We do our best to provide accurate and educational content for a wide audience, but your use of our services is at your sole risk. We make no warranty that our services will meet your requirements, be safe, secure, uninterrupted, timely, accurate, or error-free, or that your information will be secure.

We are not responsible for the content, data, or actions of third parties. No advice or information, whether oral or written, obtained by you from us or through or from our services creates any warranty not expressly stated.

Any material downloaded or otherwise obtained through your use of our services is done at your own discretion and risk, and you will be solely responsible for any damage to your computer system or loss of data that results from the download of any such material. You agree that we have no responsibility or liability for the deletion of, or the failure to store or to transmit, any content or communication maintained by the service. We retain the right to create limits on use and storage at our sole discretion at any time.

You are solely responsible for your use of any third-party websites or resources. Although the wiki contains links to third-party websites and resources, we do not endorse and are not responsible or liable for their accuracy or content (including, without limitation, any viruses or other disabling features), nor do we have any obligation to monitor such third-party content.

Some states or jurisdictions do not allow the types of disclaimers in this section, so they may not apply to you either in part or in full depending on the law.