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User talk:Geyser/Test: Difference between revisions
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Avatar: Thank you<s>. First, I wish to state how grateful I am to you</s> for making me aware of the board's coup against me. It's been dealt with, and I'll soon deal with them. ''I assumed I had learned to expect disappointment from human behavior, but it seems life will forever outpace my imagination.'' <s>The only thing working in the board's favor is that </s>they're too stupid and petty to merit the effort it would take to punish them. <s>They're no better than children, really.</s> And I don't have time for them. | Avatar: Thank you<s>. First, I wish to state how grateful I am to you</s> for making me aware of the board's coup against me. It's been dealt with, and I'll soon deal with them. ''I assumed I had learned to expect disappointment from human behavior, but it seems life will forever outpace my imagination.'' <s>The only thing working in the board's favor is that </s>they're too stupid and petty to merit the effort it would take to punish them. <s>They're no better than children, really.</s> And I don't have time for them. | ||
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;''[[User: | ;''[[User:Guido|GC]] | ||
:''I’d like Avatar to be less delicate here, try to use something like "The way people behave so stupidly outpaces my imagination" -- it is a frank conversation after all. | :''I’d like Avatar to be less delicate here, try to use something like "The way people behave so stupidly outpaces my imagination" -- it is a frank conversation after all. | ||
;''[[User:Geyser|geyser]] | ;''[[User:Geyser|geyser]] | ||
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:I'm respected by men I despise, Anthony. Parasites. In a better world, the public would tear them limb from limb for allowing this to happen. The only reason WCG won't collapse is because <s>humanity</s> '''people''' has lost the backbone to pull them down. And so now, we're all going to drown together, and perhaps we deserve to. The only person I've ever truly cared for was Simone. And I've lost her forever. | :I'm respected by men I despise, Anthony. Parasites. In a better world, the public would tear them limb from limb for allowing this to happen. The only reason WCG won't collapse is because <s>humanity</s> '''people''' has lost the backbone to pull them down. And so now, we're all going to drown together, and perhaps we deserve to. The only person I've ever truly cared for was Simone. And I've lost her forever. | ||
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;''[[User: | ;''[[User:Guido|GC]] | ||
:''Use "people" or something more trivial than "humanity" -- it is quick exchange of thoughts and it is better to let Avatar speak on a small scale. Not general categories (human kind), well it would be better if in an implicit way... | :''Use "people" or something more trivial than "humanity" -- it is quick exchange of thoughts and it is better to let Avatar speak on a small scale. Not general categories (human kind), well it would be better if in an implicit way... | ||
;''[[User:Geyser|geyser]] | ;''[[User:Geyser|geyser]] | ||
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;(Avatar's last name as seen in [[User:Geyser/Test#Panel_1.1|Page 1, panel 1]]) | ;(Avatar's last name as seen in [[User:Geyser/Test#Panel_1.1|Page 1, panel 1]]) | ||
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; | ;AF | ||
:Blackwater is a "private security company" (mercenary) operating out of the US, mostly in Iraq. It's just a placeholder name, which I may change to something less blatant, though I like the merc allusion. | :Blackwater is a "private security company" (mercenary) operating out of the US, mostly in Iraq. It's just a placeholder name, which I may change to something less blatant, though I like the merc allusion. | ||
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;Hidden by mirrored sunglasses on [[User:Geyser/Test#Page 1|Page 1]] and following. Emphasized by Chistine's talk in [[User:Geyser/Test#Panel_4.4|PAGE 1, panel 1]] | ;Hidden by mirrored sunglasses on [[User:Geyser/Test#Page 1|Page 1]] and following. Emphasized by Chistine's talk in [[User:Geyser/Test#Panel_4.4|PAGE 1, panel 1]] | ||
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;[[User: | ;[[User:Guido|GC]] | ||
:In this scene trial, Avatar is depicted wearing shades or trying to conceal his eyes from the attention of the people around. I thought Avatar's eyes can be instead one appealing feature that may be well exploited. I thought his eyes have both to shield and to show some kind of deepness of character or charisma. | :In this scene trial, Avatar is depicted wearing shades or trying to conceal his eyes from the attention of the people around. I thought Avatar's eyes can be instead one appealing feature that may be well exploited. I thought his eyes have both to shield and to show some kind of deepness of character or charisma. | ||
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:Specifically, I want to see what troubled Christine so much : "But his eyes, his eyes weren't any different. It's awful to see, and it scares me." | :Specifically, I want to see what troubled Christine so much : "But his eyes, his eyes weren't any different. It's awful to see, and it scares me." | ||
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;[[User: | ;[[User:Guido|GC]] | ||
:The solution I adopted has been [to] sketch out the eyes of someone who is interrogating, or who is pondering how to answer a question. In [either] case, Avatar is watching straight [at/through/in] your face: and this attention reveals an intention. | :The solution I adopted has been [to] sketch out the eyes of someone who is interrogating, or who is pondering how to answer a question. In [either] case, Avatar is watching straight [at/through/in] your face: and this attention reveals an intention. | ||
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::"He wore a dark helmet, completely hiding his features. And it was made of that weird plastic [...]. Like, you looked in it, and all you could see was your own face." | ::"He wore a dark helmet, completely hiding his features. And it was made of that weird plastic [...]. Like, you looked in it, and all you could see was your own face." | ||
:Be it [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Good_Omens Good Omens] (DEATH) or [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0164961/ Vidocq] (the Alchemist), it's not unusual for archvillains to hide their face behind a reflection of their environment... and that of their victims. | :Be it [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Good_Omens Good Omens] (DEATH) or [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0164961/ Vidocq] (the Alchemist), it's not unusual for archvillains to hide their face behind a reflection of their environment... and that of their victims. | ||
:[[ | :[[Oni]] too has such a villain : [[Mukade]]... | ||
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:Same as above for Avatar leaving the building, it's a bit strange to see such a "spoken flashback", not illustrated in any manner. As a reader, I found it hard to connect with Christine's messy tale, which ends with a lame "it's so fuzzy, I can't say what". In a way or another, I ask to see at least ''some'' of that what she's talking about. | :Same as above for Avatar leaving the building, it's a bit strange to see such a "spoken flashback", not illustrated in any manner. As a reader, I found it hard to connect with Christine's messy tale, which ends with a lame "it's so fuzzy, I can't say what". In a way or another, I ask to see at least ''some'' of that what she's talking about. | ||
===ACC explosion=== | ===ACC explosion=== | ||
; | ;AF | ||
:The other idea I toyed with was following avatar (of course, he wouldn't call himself that yet) from the time he's trapped under his collapsed apartment building (caused by the acc explosion) with his pregnant wife. | :The other idea I toyed with was following avatar (of course, he wouldn't call himself that yet) from the time he's trapped under his collapsed apartment building (caused by the acc explosion) with his pregnant wife. | ||
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===Present some pain to the reader=== | ===Present some pain to the reader=== | ||
; | ;AF | ||
:I decided I was being way too cruel to the reader though, and decided against it. Obviously I need to present some pain to the reader in order to show how we can transcend it, but I felt I was simply clubbing them over the head with one nasty scene after another. Fine line, right? | :I decided I was being way too cruel to the reader though, and decided against it. Obviously I need to present some pain to the reader in order to show how we can transcend it, but I felt I was simply clubbing them over the head with one nasty scene after another. Fine line, right? | ||
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