User talk:Guido/Wishlist/Part 3

Format

By now I think I've found the lightest possible format :

• plain-faced, indented text (leading ":" tag) for speech
  • custom indents possible with multiple ":"s
  • emphasis (intonation etc) with italics
  • inline directions in bold (see below)
• directions in bold
  • Small headers (leading ";" tag) for voice tags, capitalized.
  • inline comments in brackets (like this)
  • paragraphs typeset in bold, either with triple ' or ";"
  • custom indentation for directions with leading ":;", "::;" etc
  • custom emphasis through capitalization, italics etc as needed

geyser 22:50, 2 October 2006 (CEST)

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Names

Make up your mind with capitalization and such (is it "Smallgirl", "SmallGirl", "smallgirl"?).

Until then, I'll write "small girl" and "old man", just if they were common noun groups.

And I won't systematically capitalize the names in the directions : "Konoko" etc are fine.

geyser 22:50, 2 October 2006 (CEST)

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Edits

I took a few liberties when reformulating the directions.

I don't have the heart to do the same for the actual prose.

(even if it's not exactly correct English for the most)

Most of the time the problem is that I have to thoroughly understand what a sentence means.

And I just don't. Actually, grammar/vocabulary/syntax are only one half of the problem.

The risk of a mistranslation is doubled by the underlying abstract thought.

So I'd suggest to systematically develop on possibly ambiguous tirades out here.

(I know that's not what you'd normally do, but there's no other way to fix up the translation)

Alternatively, you can just put the Italian sentences up as well, and I'll take it from there ^^

geyser 22:50, 2 October 2006 (CEST)

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Composition of the second cut

• The girl is lying on the ground
• Her hand is casting a shadow on Mai's chest
• Kon is in a position to hang her head down

So, where's the sun again?

geyser 22:50, 2 October 2006 (CEST)

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Deadly fungi

A reference to Nausicaa, I would believe.

May be worth a reference to the episode of Jamie Hasegawa's death as well.

geyser 22:50, 2 October 2006 (CEST)

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The forest

That one is quite interesting, especially because of the Red Riding Hood image.

I think I'll be putting my thoughts on the image page for now, and then move them around.

geyser 22:50, 2 October 2006 (CEST)

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"Through the small openings it casts white stripes onto the snakes of mist swarming amidst the ruins."

How on earth do you expect to render this? Just curious.

geyser 23:04, 2 October 2006 (CEST)

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"KONOKO notices SMALLGIRL on the shore, drawing water with an old tank"

Picture, please. For the life of me, I don't get what's happening.

How can you draw water (e.g. from the river?) "with" a tank?

What, like with a cup? Dump it in, wait until it fills up, pull it out?

Might be a bit heavy for a little girl (starving/dying/whatever)?

The first version had "Smallgirl in the shoreline drawing dirt water on an old oil tank".

"ON"??? Do you mean she was drinking rainwater off the top of a barrel?

geyser 04:43, 3 October 2006 (CEST)