Talk:Oni/Early Story

The material on the article page tells us almost everything we need to know about the last iteration of the story before Hardy LeBel came onboard in the summer of 1999. Hardy was hired as Design Lead, and revamped the story to produce the version we know today. Let's analyze and contrast.

"Backstory"

• An inside source told us that the story document from Spring 1999 was written by Alex Mendoza, who was a temp. You'll find his name at the very end of the credits (I suppose if they had actually used his story he would have gotten a much higher placement). His being a temp, not an employee of Bungie, explains the comment "BWest thinks the game is going to end with her stumbling out of the rubble", where the writer comments on "Bungie West" as if they're a separate entity from himself. It's possible that Bungie never intended for Oni to have its final story written by a temp, and simply wanted a rough draft to kick around while the engine got off the ground.

• It's interesting to note that all the bold names in the story document which don't have asterisks were ultimately used in Oni, except for Konoko's father's name, which isn't given at all in Oni's final story. Here it's "Shin" (although that name is attached to "Takamatsu"), however in Konoko's Unit Viewer bio (see below), Hasegawa's first name is Kenichi.

• If you're wondering what is the deal with the Orbital Mind Control lasers, read THIS.

• The mention of the "electric plant" is pretty interesting. Here's the shocking truth: the ACC level... it's still an electric plant. The arcing electricity, the giant electric pipes, the level names (AKEVpower and AKEVpower_II).... The one argument for it possibly being modified after the story rewrite is that giant tunnel with the fan at the end, which fits better with the concept of an atmospheric processor. Oh, wait, come to think of it, the fan's shaft is pulsing with electricity until you turn it off at a console. Makes a lot more sense now, doesn't it?

• Muro's reason for kidnapping Shinatama is less clear in Oni's final story than it is in this version, where Muro wants to know where his sister is and hacks into Shinatama's memories to find out.

• Konoko's crazed mission of revenge likely explains the look on her face in the intro movie after she drops from above. That's not the Konoko we know; it seems that the sequence was animated before the story rewrite. Note that the "aic" folder on the first Oni press kit disc is dated June 30, 1999, and Hardy came onboard in August. Of course, Konoko also looks off-model, but that is probably because Hardy stated that Alex Okita storyboarded the sequence that was sent to AIC, whereas the final version of Konoko was designed by Lorraine Reyes. Lorraine came onboard as the full-time art director some time in June, so she might well have missed the opportunity to have more input on the look of the intro movie.

• One gets the general impression, after comparing the two stories, that Oni was largely developed under the umbrella of this earlier story, or some roughly-sketched ideas predating this write-up. The content authoring seems to have mostly been finished by the time of the story rewrite. The final version of some elements, such as the ACC level, were essentially just "re-dubbed" with the new story.

"aic" folder

Apparently Bungie West made a gallery in HTML of reference pictures for the animé studio AIC to work from while animating the intro movie.

• The "Kage Syndicate"? Interesting. "Kage" here probably means "shadow". "Kage" may have been no more than a placeholder, since the Unit Viewer pictures say "Blah Syndicate", as if the name was still unimportant to Bungie at that time.

• The ninja being called a bio-chemically enhanced kickboxer... pretty sure that's a copy-and-paste mistake that happened when they copied down the previous row (Tanker) in the HTML table.

"Unit VIewer" picture 1

• Konoko's vital stats can be found here. Although we could argue their canonicity in terms of this being the pre-Hardy era, at least these were her stats at the time:

Age: 23
Height: 5'5"
Weight: 125 lbs. 
Hair Color: Black / purple hilites
Eyes: Green
Proficiency: Firearms / Martial arts
Favorite color: Black
Favorite food: Shrimp and mango
Favorite quote: Eat lead, bitch!
Blood Type: A positive
IQ Level: 203 (is that bad?)

• Finally we find out Konoko's age. Most of us have guessed anywhere from 19 to 25, so this is not surprising. More interesting is that her birth year combined with her age means that Oni does indeed take place in 2032 (at least in this version of the story).
• The height and weight are nice to know, also not too surprising.
• Konoko's favorite quote is... memorable, but not very much in keeping with her personality in Oni.
• Blood type, eh? What is this, Japan? Incidentally, blood type A is supposed to be "reserved, patient and responsible", which are the exact opposite of the Konoko we all know and love.
• It appears that Bungie didn't intend Konoko to be a brawn-over-brain character, as witnessed by her super-genius IQ (which Konoko seems to be quasi-embarrassed about). While one could argue that this was before the rewrite and therefore Konoko's IQ could be anything now, it's worth noting that a similar smart-but-self-conscious note is struck in-game when Konoko recognizes atmospheric processing equipment and then wonders if that makes her a nerd. She is also quick enough to recognize that Musashi Manufacturing is just a stalling tactic for Muro, and figured out how to escape from an impossible situation in Science Prison moments after learning about her Chrysalis. Her 99.999 percentile IQ might just be intact in Oni's final story.

"Unit VIewer" picture 2

• Here is Konoko's Background text from the second picture:

Konoko Hasegawa was born in the year 2009 to Shin and Yuko Takamatsu, the First Family of the Blah Crime Syndicate of Blah City.
In order to save her from a life of crime, her father put her up for adoption. She was adopted by Kenichi and Barbara Hasegawa as
their only child. Konoko entered the police academy at age 18 and graduated at the top of her class. She is an excellent marksman
and adept at four types of martial arts. Her petite size belies her strength and determination.

• Konoko Hasegawa was born to the Takamatsus? Confusing, but Hasegawa was her adoptive name in this version of the story, as seen above under "Backstory".
• Konoko was apparently all Japanese in this version, judging from her real parents' names, but her adoptive parents seem to be a Japanese man and an American (or English, I suppose) woman, as seen in the rewrite.
• The names Kenichi and Barbara are a nod and wink at the working names in "Backstory", Ken and Barbie.