User talk:Guido/Wishlist/Part 3: Difference between revisions

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;Format
{{GuidoWishlist|right}}
:By now I think I've found the lightest possible format :
:*plain-faced, indented text (leading ":" tag) for speech
:**custom indents possible with multiple ":"s
:**emphasis (intonation etc) with italics
:**inline directions in bold (see below)
:*directions in bold
:**Small headers (leading ";" tag) for voice tags, capitalized.
;**inline comments in brackets '''(like this)'''
;**paragraphs typeset in bold, either with triple ' or ";"
;**custom indentation for directions with leading ":;", "::;" etc
;**custom emphasis through capitalization, italics etc as needed
::[[User:Geyser|geyser]] 22:50, 2 October 2006 (CEST)
----
;Names
:Make up your mind with capitalization and such (is it "Smallgirl", "SmallGirl", "smallgirl"?).
:Until then, I'll write "small girl" and "old man", just if they were common noun groups.
:And I won't systematically capitalize the names in the directions : "Konoko" etc are fine.
::[[User:Geyser|geyser]] 22:50, 2 October 2006 (CEST)
----
;Edits
:I took a few liberties when reformulating the directions.
:I don't have the heart to do the same for the actual prose.
:(even if it's not exactly correct English for the most)
:Most of the time the problem is that I have to thoroughly understand what a sentence means.
:And I just don't. Actually, grammar/vocabulary/syntax are only one half of the problem.
:The risk of a mistranslation is doubled by the underlying abstract thought.
:So I'd suggest to systematically develop on possibly ambiguous tirades out here.
:(I know that's not what you'd normally do, but there's no other way to fix up the translation)
:Alternatively, you can just put the Italian sentences up as well, and I'll take it from there ^^
::[[User:Geyser|geyser]] 22:50, 2 October 2006 (CEST)
----
;Composition of the second cut
;Composition of the second cut


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----
----
;Deadly fungi
;Deadly fungi
:A reference to [[Miyazaki/Nausicaa interview|Nausicaa]], I would believe.
:A reference to [[Nausicaa/Miyazaki interview|Nausicaa]], I would believe.
:May be worth a reference to the episode of Jamie [[Hasegawa]]'s death as well.
:May be worth a reference to the episode of Jamie [[Hasegawa]]'s death as well.
::[[User:Geyser|geyser]] 22:50, 2 October 2006 (CEST)
::[[User:Geyser|geyser]] 22:50, 2 October 2006 (CEST)
:Good imagery, but push the fungus too far and people will accuse you of stealing from miyazaki.
:I understand he's a major influence and the comparison will be made nonetheless, but trying to minimize direct parallels will help.
::[[User:AF|AF]]
----
----
;The forest
;The forest
:That one is quite interesting, especially because of the [[:Image:Smallred.jpg|Red Riding Hood image]].
:That one is quite interesting, especially because of the [[:Image:Guido - Small Red.jpg|Red Riding Hood image]].
:I think I'll be putting my thoughts on the image page for now, and then move them around.
:I think I'll be putting my thoughts on the image page for now, and then move them around.
::[[User:Geyser|geyser]] 22:50, 2 October 2006 (CEST)
::[[User:Geyser|geyser]] 22:50, 2 October 2006 (CEST)
[[Image:Guido - White stripes.jpg|right|thumb|roughsketch<br>[[:Image:Guido - White stripes.jpg|(zoom in)]]]]
----
----
;"Through the small openings it casts white stripes onto the snakes of mist swarming amidst the ruins."
;"Through the small openings it casts white stripes onto the snakes of mist swarming amidst the ruins."
:How on earth do you expect to render this? Just curious.
:How on earth do you expect to render this? Just curious.
::[[User:Geyser|geyser]] 23:04, 2 October 2006 (CEST)
::[[User:Geyser|geyser]] 23:04, 2 October 2006 (CEST)
:more or less this way...
::[[User:Guido|Guido]] 16:42, 25 November 2006 (CEST)
:Hm, that's reasonably messy for a 15-minute thing
::(not like I ''really'' care how fast you work... ^^ )
:::(and the composition was thought through earlier...)
:Not 100% convincing as for what's represented
::(too much diagonal "rain or something" : misleading)
:::(without the verbal directions, it's really puzzling)
::(in case it ''is'' rain : is rain compatible with mist? ^^)
:If the striped mist is in the lower center of the picture,
::then I think I get it (not sure I like it, but I get it).
:Since it's a tricky scene, I sorta expected more detail...
:Keep up the feedback. I may get back to you "in time"...
::[[User:Geyser|geyser]] 17:05, 25 November 2006 (CET)
[[Image:Guido - Characters deployment.jpg|right|thumb|Placement of Konoko and Smallgirl]]
----
----
;"There is a large placid flow in the middle, going downstream."
;"'''KONOKO''' notices '''SMALLGIRL''' on the shore, drawing water with an old tank"
:Why would a large placid flow go upstream? Wind? Estuary?
:Picture, please. For the life of me, I don't get what's happening.
::[[User:Geyser|geyser]] 23:04, 2 October 2006 (CEST)
:How can you ''draw water'' (e.g. from the river?) "with" a tank?
::What, like with a cup? Dump it in, wait until it fills up, pull it out?
:::Might be a bit heavy for a little girl (starving/dying/whatever)?
:The first version had "Smallgirl in the shoreline drawing dirt water on an old oil tank".
:"ON"??? Do you mean she was drinking rainwater off the top of a barrel?
::[[User:Geyser|geyser]] 04:43, 3 October 2006 (CEST)
 
[[Image:Guido - Drawing water.jpg|right|thumb|SmallGirl in action ^^]]
 
:I just hope this will ease your pain, Geyser ... : )
::[[User:Guido|Guido]] 16:42, 25 November 2006 (CEST)
:That's better (vocabulary choices may have been better).
:As for the picture names,
::since they're attached to a single "node" (talk page),
:::you can set the name accordingly.
:("whitestripes" and especially "character_deployment"
::may well become ambiguous in a foreseeable future)
:Re:Keep it up, there are still a few items for you to sort out ^^
::[[User:Geyser|geyser]] 17:11, 25 November 2006 (CET)
 
[[Category:Oni 2]]

Latest revision as of 02:13, 4 May 2022

Guido's Wishlist : trial scenes for Oni 2

  1. Avatar and Konoko
  2. Oldman, Konoko and SmallGirl
  3. Mushroom Drunkyard
  4. Show me the way to NeoTokyo
Composition of the second cut
  • The girl is lying on the ground
  • Her hand is casting a shadow on Mai's chest
  • Kon is in a position to hang her head down
So, where's the sun again?
geyser 22:50, 2 October 2006 (CEST)
Deadly fungi
A reference to Nausicaa, I would believe.
May be worth a reference to the episode of Jamie Hasegawa's death as well.
geyser 22:50, 2 October 2006 (CEST)
Good imagery, but push the fungus too far and people will accuse you of stealing from miyazaki.
I understand he's a major influence and the comparison will be made nonetheless, but trying to minimize direct parallels will help.
AF
The forest
That one is quite interesting, especially because of the Red Riding Hood image.
I think I'll be putting my thoughts on the image page for now, and then move them around.
geyser 22:50, 2 October 2006 (CEST)
roughsketch
(zoom in)
"Through the small openings it casts white stripes onto the snakes of mist swarming amidst the ruins."
How on earth do you expect to render this? Just curious.
geyser 23:04, 2 October 2006 (CEST)
more or less this way...
Guido 16:42, 25 November 2006 (CEST)
Hm, that's reasonably messy for a 15-minute thing
(not like I really care how fast you work... ^^ )
(and the composition was thought through earlier...)
Not 100% convincing as for what's represented
(too much diagonal "rain or something" : misleading)
(without the verbal directions, it's really puzzling)
(in case it is rain : is rain compatible with mist? ^^)
If the striped mist is in the lower center of the picture,
then I think I get it (not sure I like it, but I get it).
Since it's a tricky scene, I sorta expected more detail...
Keep up the feedback. I may get back to you "in time"...
geyser 17:05, 25 November 2006 (CET)
Placement of Konoko and Smallgirl
"KONOKO notices SMALLGIRL on the shore, drawing water with an old tank"
Picture, please. For the life of me, I don't get what's happening.
How can you draw water (e.g. from the river?) "with" a tank?
What, like with a cup? Dump it in, wait until it fills up, pull it out?
Might be a bit heavy for a little girl (starving/dying/whatever)?
The first version had "Smallgirl in the shoreline drawing dirt water on an old oil tank".
"ON"??? Do you mean she was drinking rainwater off the top of a barrel?
geyser 04:43, 3 October 2006 (CEST)
SmallGirl in action ^^
I just hope this will ease your pain, Geyser ... : )
Guido 16:42, 25 November 2006 (CEST)
That's better (vocabulary choices may have been better).
As for the picture names,
since they're attached to a single "node" (talk page),
you can set the name accordingly.
("whitestripes" and especially "character_deployment"
may well become ambiguous in a foreseeable future)
Re:Keep it up, there are still a few items for you to sort out ^^
geyser 17:11, 25 November 2006 (CET)
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